hit counters All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Saturday, May 29, 2004

i dunno where to start.. nor to end


longggggg day? haha.. well rather mr. popular for the day thou.. 6 people tried to 'book' me to go out with them... sadly had to reject most of them lah.. just for a special group of people that i seldom meet and had to meet.. :)

zi hao wanted to go back to primary sch.. sharifah needed me to go down to office to SIGN ATTENDENCE... how cool can that job get man.. thought it was only to MAKE PHONE CALLS was the most.. but.. nvm... to help her oso lah.. then had jae asking me if i was going for coporate prayer.. since there was no DG.. and then had the CJ peeps.. and then had some other other menial stuff.. which i shall not wanna elaborate and bother about anymore.. haha.. as if i can.. so yeah.. ended up i went to office and met the X-t07ers.. this was the more fun group lah.. jun ling manda chels im sarah.. too bad bing char and cher were not there lah.. if not zai already lor.. yeah had fun...

ok i just realised that this is actually the first time i have so many names in my entry.. for what i also dunno.. for fun maybe.. yeah.. so no worries.. i m still that same insane baggur... or whatever u think i m lah.. yeah i m that lah... until such point of time i prove you wrong... or.. God knows when..

well i must say this: do not regret upon ur decisions.. i m proud of you.. the maturity that you have shown.. the thoughts that you have put thru.. the things that you have said.. the issues that were raised.. actually.. u left me SPEACHLESS... something that people have seldom done.. something that was left in such perfection i had nothing to add to.. or to take out... for now.. let us open our eyes and see.. take a view of an on looker.. as in chinese they say "pang guan ze qing" meaning the on lookers sees clearer.. let our heads do the thinkin.. let us understand what this is all about.. let us seek God.. just for this once more... and for the many more that is to come for other things.. (i pray for you)... dont be too hard on urself.. and know what you want.. if this route does not lead you to what u want.. seek and ask and find and knock.. for those who ask.. it shall be answered.. those who seek.. they shall find.. and to those who knock.. it shall be opened unto them.. for who know better for us than God our creator Himself? hold to God and know...

devastated.. trashed.. failure... disappointment.. let it not ruin your mind.. may we learn from this.. see the future needs and amendments made.. i know this is hard to swallow.. and no matter how.. how... how.. sadistic i may be.. can never swallow a pill that kills me thru and stop all suffering... can never wanna cause so much pain to myself in such an event.. but in the long run.. what is better.. and what is worse? i know not.. i too m lost...

i have seen my falls.. my raises.. my faith in faith.. my stupidity in pride.. my proud humility... the painful joys.. the bitter honey.. the hateful love... my life which i own, not...

i have faith no more.. not any in myself.. to be able to do anything great.. for u for me.. for anyone.. just a lile boi.. wanting a lile more... begging for something... but not expecting any..

i have no idea what i m talkin about.. mayb that will just show forth my emotions.. my feelings my thots for a moment.. not for long.. but maybe.. for a while.. a relative word.. to what exend i know not of.. moses was in the wilderness for a while.. and that took him 40 years... and pleasure last for a while... 1 sec... and it just stops there.. so its still relative..

shall this be the beginning? or the end.. or the end to a beginning? or a beginning to an end? or?

have a reccee trip to some sch tmr.. info not disclosed.. haha.. 10 leh.. and its 3 already.. isnt that cool? another long long day tmr.. and think i will just doze off in youth service or something.. talking about building Godly relationships.. BRG... yeah.. but so? i cant commit still.. haiz... i really dunno..

watch what you pray for.. be prepared for what you pray for and never EVER regret it... let it be the prayer of ur heart and know that it is...

just remember.. i m P R O U D of you!;)

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 2:45 AM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.


All about ME!!!

Insanity rules my ways,
Christianity governs my days.
Understand, when you know me.
Leave, dont bother, im not concerned..

Life is like a bed of roses, it has thorns dammit


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