hit counters All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

saffocating


i dun really feel well now... for many reasons i guess... well i can feel like that for many reasons too... the butterflies and the discomort of uncertainty... and the fear... haiz.. my legs are wobbly.. my mind is in a jigsaw puzzle... heart beat irregular... confusion...

one... my msn messenger was giving me prob since this morning... its ben giving me a list that is not mine at all.. and the people that are on my list cannot be seen and with jaime's words of i think it might be a virus and me unprepared as i wanted to back it up yesterday but yet not being able to.. and its like a new laptop... havent even celebrated its man yue... haiz... so i m very very worried about it lah.. but well now its workin again.. worried lah..

two.. had coffee eariler... coffee to me has adverse effects.. like beer.. to me its a stimulant where when i feel bad.. i feel really bad... and.... gives me butterflies in tummy... which makes me feel worse.. haiz...

three... the stagnant air at home.. lack of oxygen.. and the smell of hazy from outside which restricts me from opening the window.. the spell penetrates my brains and saffocates me even more...

i still dun feel good.. affected by other things.. and also this feeling brings back good memories... seeing them inflicting pain too.... ugh....

oh well.. in sch... its kinda weird lah... haha... its like in sji i m slack.. and looking that those hard workin people.. it only encourages me to slack more... and i jsut slack.. and here in NP there is just slackers in itself.. and i feel weird... and i feel like workin now... its like these slackers give me the motivation to work!!!! and its like even slack in sji isnt really that slack.. will start studying after celebrating bing's b'day.. and its like not wise to study during my long hours of break which will make me look like a nerd and they will excommunicate me... and then if i dun study i will die.. and its such irony lah.. i wanna become nerd for no reason actually... lookin at syllabus its like repeating a maths and physics.. and a lot of relative velocity... a topic that everyone in the world was strugling with.. i jsut love the challange... and guess what i even thot of doing engineering maths 2.. so that i can learn eariler or something and then can slack earlier.. like sign up for the paper earlier or have a head start at least... then more slack mah... rite? but y m i so cheong? what has happened to me? haha.... i really dunno leh.,... SLACK BABIE SLACK!!!!

i was playing american's army during the last period of lect while the lecturer was talkin about electrons neutrons and protons... and all teh currents things... think i must go read up on that.. rather rusty le..

was watching 50 first dates yesterday.. during break and yeah told u guys about it.. but din really elaborate.. was a rather sweet show.. haiz... sugar swet.. and i hate to see such show like that lah.. its just sweet to have such a person in ur life.. yet it just so impossible.. well.. haha... dunno lah... i just feel like crying.. anyone has any nice sad show to recommend? or just ask me to watch my own life? thats more like a comedy.. circus.. and i m the clown... the joke......... ugh

it isnt really beautiful out there... the colors have turned dull.. the light have dimmed.. the moon is clouded.. the stars sparkle no more... words of man degrade... emotions spurr... fists injure... hatred kills... death befalls... the soul dies off..

eyes.. ears.. hands.. nose.. mouth.. they are of no use.. hurting and harming.. harming and hurting... thats all they do... extolation.. they do not comprehend... so y see.. when all u see is such evil... y hear... when all u hear are hurtful words...

a poly student... getting a jc galfriend... imagine this... when she already is in uni first year... you are still finishing your dip..the level of communication is jsut so different... and then slowed by army... when u come out.. she is in her last year... seeing each other will just be time consuming... haha.... but its up to you... just dun regret.. :)

feel like shutting them out.. but still.. ears are always open

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 10:32 PM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.


All about ME!!!

Insanity rules my ways,
Christianity governs my days.
Understand, when you know me.
Leave, dont bother, im not concerned..

Life is like a bed of roses, it has thorns dammit


BeTray My HearT aNd Leave..

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