All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

what u ask for.. may just come true

i'm shagged.. i'm tired... very.. its JUST the 2nd day of the week... its ONLY tuesday... guess after 5 weeks of sch.. this is the first time u hear me say this rite? yeah finally i have a week that i can actually catch up with.. and its really draining me.. and streets alive.. undoubtedly.. played a part in this.. leaving my body tired and laid to waste... the stressed it had on my body.. till today i have yet to recuperate from that day.. well blame it on the piling homework that i have and the late nites that comes with that.. and the piling homework? with tonnes of new things to catch up with... NEW and CATCH UP somehow doesnt seem to come together? no.. its not the wrong usage of words here.. its true.. i m behind the teacher.. too slack.. so much catch up.. and i wasnt listening.. so its NEW!!! be proud of me.. hahaha

i slightly dozed off during lecture just now.. and my friend just withint hat split second took a pic of mine.. and well i can sue lah.. and i dun like my picture taken... ugh.. nvm..

todae was in a rather foul mood.. have absolutely no idea y.. actually i do have lah.. due to the lack of sleep and the irritation of people asking me how to do this and that when my brain was already lagging.. i could hardly catch up in practical and was like.. i'm dying.. my brain was really not functioning at all lor.. the formula V=IR and making I the subject.. after my friend told me the ans.. i was still staring at it.. til about 5 mins later then i said.. I=V/R rite? and that was how lag i was lah.. m really not exaggerating lah.. only after prac.. during AMS.. i fell aslp.. then after that stayed back.. wah shiok only lah.. people shouting and playing CS in the lib.. knn... now i really know how it feels when people make noise.. but actually it didnt really affect me much lor.. had the music going and the headphones up.. unless my friend told me about it.. if not it really din bother me much..

was doing foilsims.. was a calculation of airflow and the airplane and some other crap lah.. explain to u oso wont understand.. cos i myself oso cannot.. hehe.. then tehre was a prog that we did calculations with.. and there was a diagram.. with air flow lah.. then the stupid librarian came to us and then told us.. u know no playing games here uh? i was like -_-'''... gosh.. haiz.. very fun very fun... cannot blame lah.. 2nd batch of students doing this course what... what to do... hehe...

a friend was complaining to me about the split in our group.. about 7 of us a clique lah... very well mixed.. this is like that first time u can hear mark lai... speak that much chinese in 4 years.. like even in chi class we were FORCED to speak chi.. and yet we didnt!!! haha... well well the good o' days.. anyway.. yeah.. and with the group with different interest and stuff and backgrounds.. its rather disturbing that one of us cannot really fit in.. no matter how hard i try and all that.. trying to adapt and change... yet its not going anywhere.. u cant really expect me to take a 180 degree change rite? and with the topic that we talk about.. well i must say its really different from what i went thru too.. but its thanks to the general knowledge of some things that i m able to communicate... but do u actually know how tough it really is for me?

the cultural shock that i get once again... if not for the training that i had before.. i guess i would have never been able to adapt to this system and culture lah... it just brings me back to the first day i stepped into SJI.. shit.. tears just will come flowing lah.. culture shock again relived.. its just so different.. thats y i m always with jaime.. cos he brings back the cornieness and the jokes that will never be found in poly.. the jokes that we prick and get it right away... with everybody still wondering what we were saying.. with the support that we give each other.. i somewhat miss jaime as my classmate.. where i could just ask him anything that i did not understand.. and with the english influence we have on each other.. to make sure that we do not lose that english there... something that i m tremendously afraid of..

the culture of SJI will always be stuck me in.. the culture that is so strong and that i miss so so so so so much... i really m grateful that i was sent to that sch.. to learn.. yes the good.. and the bad.. muahaha... that what makes the sch a special one.. and we a special people... cos all are different.. i really miss the high level intelletual jokes that we exchange.. and the racism that just flows.. even as chinese.. i miss those days.. that we jsut left everything in class and go home... with a bag and a discman within.. the wassssups and gang bangs... the piles.. the stripping.. the topics that only all boys sch will talk about and the way we talk about it.. i really miss that... there arent really many people to talk that about... not really... or mayb just so few.... i miss the good o' days.. i really do.. thinkin of CF and thinkin of the good time that we had together.. playing survivor and the aura that he had... haiz.. now going back i would not see him anymore.. i really missed it lah.. how i wish.. how i...

friendship.. yes this friendship i treasure a lot... but yet its another one that is tiring me.. it takes both hands to clap doesnt it... it mustnt be only me thats tryin to accomodate to you... but we all have to do so... so what if i know more? so what if u are wrong? so what? i wont laugh.. and only by sharing that we are able to tell u if you are wrong and to correct you.. wouldnt that be to ur advantage? to help u improve? haiz... well well.. this is the most i can do already.. we have 3 years.. to hate each other or to love... i wish for the latter... or life will be really miserable for everyone.. moreover.. i m already seeing a division within the class.. this segregation is just not good... i really hate it... and i m tryin to mix.. to unite this class as one and to move forward... to go out together and have fun together... no not for other purposes.. but just so that we are a class lor... no its not happening... how is this going to happen? a class that doesnt seem to be a class.. no one sees eye to eye on many issues.. i can be the extreme of what u do not like.. dun forget i m a loud insane freak.. i can jsut change within secs... i like to ra ra.. and to be serious.. knowing when to do what... thats important... why cant everyone jsut take a step back and give way a lile? or is really having a all boys class that difficult to you all? i was in one for 4 years.. beat that.. and i m going to be in another for 3 years... no i m not discounting the gals.. but just that they make too insignificant a number.. compared to a 1:2 ratio? this is nothing...

okay i think i have said my part and i m really tired.. i have not even done my mtp work... but who gives a damn.. shall do it while he talks cock or something.. i;m just too damn tired... so here i shall end...

alma mater...my heart shall always be.. hail SJI.. ora et labora..

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 10:46 PM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.