All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Monday, September 20, 2004

flipping through the old, reminsing the past

i have a strong inclination to actually delete all the past post that i have made, but then realised that there were still many that i wanted to keep, forever, so that i could flip back to it and tell myself that i was so happy then, that i was so close to God then. it reminded me of my stupidity and consequences of which. i would one day read that and smile myself silly once more, saying that those things made me stronger, those things built me up. telling my youths that i was once like them, silly as ever, telling my children, as what jae likes to say, telling them the 'advantures' and the things taht happened in our lifes, telling them not to follow into our foot steps, but only helplessly seeing them fall yet again for the same thing taht we did.

i realised that i have had a very exciting life, with very exciting people as company, sweet, caring, kind, lovely and loving. not forgetting those people who never fails to spoil my day. they add the color to my life, to allow me to appreciate those that have been that significant figure in times of need. i've been thru pain and joy, live and near death. many many experiences, they make my life and who i m. you make who i m too...

i had this nick on my msn earlier: "its going to rain and its ur fault too" never thinkin that anyone would actually take an effort to comment on that, what more with an sms. when i was about to slp, touching my head on the pillow, i recieved a msg, at first, i was rather annoyed as i really wanted to slp already. but then the msg read sweetly, "it already started to rain, and its not my fault". a smile grew widely on my face. it was as thou i struck gold. no, it was not a gal, it was my lil bro. cute as he was, he gave that reply, and i told him that i couldnt put what i felt into words. but to me, it is in these lile things that people do for me that makes me smile, that makes me feel loved, not in the humongous things with great results that makes me feel loved. and i really thank God for him, like a million times..

back to the feminine aspect of my blog, i dun really bother much about it. as long as i know who i m really and who i love, thats the most important. but please just if you are worried, i m not gay, nor do i have gay tendencies, i had too much feminine influence in my childhood days.. rite? hahaha... and yeah i m slighty deprived of many things. haha..

anyway i have to go, have to do the laundry and yeah im rather tired. this is my third entry of the day. and erm well the first one was like pms then do one... the second one was outta excitement from the new layout, and this one was due to the fact that i was bored and lookin thru the past entries that i started to think of this.

i will end with this lah. you who are reading this, thank you for being part of my life, thank you for being that angel or that devil there, thank you for your love, care and concern, thank you for everything. last but not least, thank GOd for you!!!

u r my prize, my reward, the gift from God, all of you

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 2:03 AM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.