All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Thursday, October 07, 2004

please dun try so hard to say good bye

ok back to my obessional almost everyday postings? not really. still have my semestrals coming soon too. and with a proj due soon and other things that i have in hand, which includes church and many many other things.. :) ok not really :) but still can give a smile, cos its CHURCH and MANY MANY OTHER THINGS LIKE STUDYING.... :)

I realized that my post on poly didnt have anything edifying in it. however, its not much of a problem, it was never meant to be one that was like that. But I saw something not really very nice of myself too, alter-ego… sounded really egoistic I guess, but it wasnt outta egoism that I typed that whole entry, but it was a means to allow the not-so-green side of poly to be reflected rather than it always being a better option or whatsoever. maybe a beter option for those who are really not so academically inclined, or people outta the arts, more towards sci or something liddat... or anti-sociality; now that the course called social services is outta NYP, there wont be a base for students to start with something like psychology and social work... poly isnt the choice...

yesterday wasnt really that bad a day, i was jsut tired, and that was it. hahah.. went out for my first class outting today!!!! haha.. m glad i went out with them, first to play pool, then they went lido to watch white chicks, i rushed home... for what? i also dunno... rofl.. but i was tired lah.. and so i heard white chicks was funny. really should go watch, see another of my wants, i want to watch like 3 shows, and i've watched two shows when my parents were away, and also bought a million and one things. this is really getting outta hand. glad i didnt stay for the movie either too, or i wouldnt have money for tmr and sat, starbucks and dinner with my two best friends. :) oh wells..

i've realised a rather big big problem about myself, i always like to place myself on shaky grounds and stand there thinkin that i would not fall, then realising that i have actually fallen. i dun always know my limits in that sense, physically, emotionally, and mentally i guess... but its always in the breaking of barriers that i know where my limit is, after hurting myself all over again. hahah.. anyway i like it..

oh yesterday we climbed up this half story structure, like pull ourselves up with like 4 pull ups, and i managed to do it. BE AMAZED!!! hahah.. anyway i really miss the feeling of muscular ache.. it rocks and i cant wait for monday to come. but if u suddenly see this blog empty for a few days, i might be in hospital, and this is no joke, as i said, i dunno my darn limits, i really dont. thou i say i will keep to the vicinity, i will just push it and there goes my half-way-thru-healing back... i pray not.. :) but i really miss the feeling of muscular ache and all the other pains that will come along once i start judo AGAIN!!! hurrrayayyayayayayay!!!!!!!!!! :) i'm like a lile kid who just got kandi!!! :)

today was a rather lousy day. lets see, today, i woke at about erm... 10 and then came online, did nothing till i went to sch to do proj, which was supposed to be due tmr, now postoned to monday!! :), and then went for cf, guess it was due to the late late lunch that i started having bad bad headaches, well i can say that nothing was accomplished today almost lah. found SOME info on BOEING and made ur own airplane, wt... life sucks in aerospace, while i see my other friends enjoying themselves, i m slogging like shit on how to make aeroplance and what other shit lah.. ok i m pissed with my course. i think i might really change. but then again,

met khid in the lib, and, yeah he is takin FSV and is a really slack course and something that i almost ended up in, but he reminded me, josephian spirit, half way? no way. half way? no way. all the way, ok.. really refreshing to hear that lah.. at least when i go do BC i can tell them that i did something that so lile people did and i made it thru!! rofl.. a bit of a waste of time eh?

over dinner my family was actually bringin up the point of why i was in my course, and this is what i said BEFORE my 'O's. if i go into poly and do a course that i like, like AT or FSV or mass comm for that matter, it would just to let me kill time and erm yeah do something that i would like to do with less stress lah. and that was what i repeated over dining table that made my bro almost flip. rofl... he was like, thats an expensive past time lor... hahah... and then my mum helped me add in the as a stepping stone for where i want to go. damn funny lah.. but well... :)

i dunno why, but i feel rather happy tonite, althou i had quite a bad day earlier. hahah... just call me insane, on i think i know why already. i recieved a call from a friend earlier, he called from a very special place and talked for quite a while, and was so happy to hear his voice again. and the special place? tekong.. hahaha.. and he was telling me about so many things lah.. and he was just talkin and talkin and really enjoyed hearing him talk and talkin to him. cleared much of the headache too... :)

i think i shall go get my dinner now.. if not headache again uh.. hahah.. i also dunno lah...

and one day, you will hear the resounding triumphant of Love

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 9:23 PM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.