All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Sunday, May 22, 2005

geee-peee

i hate gee-pee, so does my twin and i guess another 10000 over people in singapore. it requires high level of general knowledge and vocab wide as a range of the dictionary. mine's bad, compared to many others. i dont really read, dont really write, all i do is read some books(recently) and blog, in my not so perfected english and frequent typos.

two people told me that my entires are like gp essays. thanks for the compliment, and the complain that my entires are too long and not really reader friendly. maybe because of one, it being long, and two the template used. but anyhow, my hols are ending, so the frequency of the entires would then drop by a substantial amount due to the cut opportunity to think, and also i wont have time to change the template.. hahaa.. so sorry..

a parody to life.

parody, a genre of movies that i like. somewhat different, daring, implicit, obvious. the worlds small, and amazing most of the time. you never know who you might meet. ok i dont really have the interest or capablities to make this interesting, i m bloggin about this for the sake of it. rather so that i can rmb what happened..

so i travelled dwn to bukit timah al ahzar eatery to meet the rest of the CFers. it was a really tiring day i say! and what more. i was going to ton overnite at bukit timah... so yeah we were eating and i didnt know this SP guy.. then we were like comparing where we were staying... (sheesh i m so ruining the atmosphere here)but i then i realised that this other guy was my neighbour. as in nex block neighbour.. and he was living here like 5 years and we have NEVER MET?! what the!!! and then we were like talkin about it and rattling about it non-stop.. ahhahah.... some wettie got irritated by it... ahhahaha...

anyway i guess thats all i want to say for that nite lah.. it was a good nite.. sent someone all the way to tampinese with this neighbour of mine.. hahah... and had a good chat with him on our way home.. as in really home... my void deck...

authenticity of her love,
i was watching this show called tian long ba bu, dont ask me what the english name is.. and i wasnt really crazily chasing the show, my parents were, (the got the vcd), so i sat in on one episode and watched a lile of it. one of the main character, xiao/(qiao) feng the beggar sect ex-leader was looking for this parent's killer, and hence he found this guy (from many leads) and then asked a few questions, demanding for a truthful ans. his questions were, many years ago, did u do something very terrible that u regret that left a kid(refering to himself) without parents and hurt the family and continue hurting people? while that guy was a total flirt, and had many many mistresses and children all over, to him it was regretful that his mistresses could not be by his side and had left the children without a father, what more, the house that he was in then, one of his mistress, had his mistress, his long lost child, who they had abandoned many years ago due to unforeseen circumstances. without the direct qn to did you kill my parents, the questioned answered yes and he regreted for his mistakes. however, he wasnt his parent's killers.

in tong's words "it'll be so easy if everyone stops beating around the bush and say what they really wanna say." and when i told him anbiguiity was my style, he just shrugged, i guess i made the world more difficult didnt i?

mastered in her actions,
i read thru recent post on my blog. and i read someone's blog thereafter, realising how transparent that person has been with her feelings totally, i was shocked at how someone could really do that on a public blog. i felt lightened after reading her post. as if someone said what i was feeling, some parts that is, and it felt rather scarily refreshing from hearing someone to truthful so open, it was scary. with all the mask that we wear everyday, with all the hiding, with all the security measures of not allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to others. it really is refreshing.

i realised that thru all my previous post, i never really said about anything that i felt about that directly affected me. i never said anything about what i really felt so strongly about, i never really said anything about things in my life and its happenings, partly cos its boring, but i never wanted to share how i felt, what i felt, not in whole to any particular person. in part, here and there, with no one getting a full story, the full burden of my life that already is.

affirmed by her words
i can say that i m being protective, i m being scared, i m being considerate, knowing the heaviness of any heart, what more another person. or sometimes, if i dont really tell u anything much, its just the lack of oppportunity.

nesting in her eyes
someone once complained about my blog, being boring, or saying that the people that i talk about, they dont know who. well thats how i work my obscurity thru the entire entry. sometimes even the people involved are not aware that i m talkin about him or her. or maybe, its just the people that i tell thing to that knows what i m talkin about, sometimes its so obscure that i need to tell the person some background or whats happening to understand what i m talkin about. i guess i rather enjoy it. it just puts people off from readin on, not wanting to probe more, not wanting to care more than they already do by reading the blog, roughly knowing that i m still alive, then just going on to their on lifes, not feeling burdened by any problem or whatsoever. sometimes there are some, but where in the subsequent post, things have cleared and showed no more signs. i like blurring things, making a clear view, then putting things infront of them, telling you other things, and then making you believe half of everything. i can be a good false prophet. making you hear what u really want to hear... but u shant do such stuff when it comes to the Bible.

designed with her lips,
i think i have said a lile too much. firstly, promised to keep this short. secondly, i think i have really said too much but how long are we going to run away for?

Well, I've been thinkin’ ’bout the future,
I'm too young to pretend
It’s such a waste,
to always look behind you
You should be lookin’ straight ahead.

adorned by her smile.

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 1:19 AM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.