All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Sunday, August 28, 2005

well, sorta

i wake up to projects, stay awake for projects, be in school with projects, sleep in the accompanyment of projects. thats what my life has been revolving about the last week.

that call didnt send me grinning from ear to ear, and if it was so, it shouldnt be the way i reacted. guess i didnt know myself at all. guessnowiknow...

just close your eyes and i'll take you there. - someday

its Him that keeps me running. but maybe, i should just start walking.

do i know you even?

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there isnt much of an update today, my week was sushi - gorging, projects - missing deadlines, callin in sick - ponning lessons, and projects - stayin in sch till late.

i dont have much of an interesting life, just maybe going back to ceejay, the place that brings back memories, regret and i dont know.

it happens only when i feel my pride grow.

my family met an old family friend earlier after dinner. then my dad had introduced my bro, being in army, and i being in poly, i had this sudden feel that there was just a weird stare of downplay "poly" that went through my spine, it didnt really feel good. i was like, "shit, doesnt it damn sound better when you are introduced to be in jc? like in finishing and going into army next year, not year after next, im just another of those cannot-make-it-to-jc kids that end up there. doesnt really feel any good. but thanks to my shuai ge haoz, he told me, man you've long got over that lah. and i guess sometimes it just gets back to me. once in a while. when im so hating poly life, when im just so hating poly life. =)

the grass on the other side looks greener doesnt it? hahaha... and sometimes i have to agree, that however much i see my friends slogging out in jc, i have a feeling that with what they are doing, i could surely cope. and they are telling me that im having it easy and its sure easier to look and say than done. anyway, i've lived just some part of my life in jc and felt the monotony of such life, and what more the stress and the insanity of a 9 hour paper nagging at me and notes and notes to prepare. i guess.

"That wherever I was in my life I would always want to be somewhere else. That I had gone to all this trouble deceived the woman I loved and got myself into debt, only to find that the things which annoyed and oppressed me followed me around. It wasn't Catherine or the children that were the problem. It wasn't even Jim, Paul and Simon. It was Me." - the best a man can get, John O'farrel.

i find names with O'something really cool. maybe i will name my son O'-something-. the previous book i read was by O'brien. now's another O'someone. ok, thats besides the point, but i found this really interesting a read, especially the short adaptation from above, it had much meaning in it. have to really thank twin for introducing the book to me, and too bad, this isnt a lit text. it'd be great to have it as a lit text, lotsa themes and schemes used. and its really meaningful a read, though it reaches a point of indecency, but yet the character keeping his morality. i guess that its rather true. its what we think, how we view things, how we life our lives that puts us into the thinking all the time that the grass on the other side is always greener. like how i was in sji and thought that life in a neighbourhood school would be cool (ok actually that thought only lasted for a split of a sec, no matter what, sji was always better) but there would always be complaints that sji sucks and all that. now in poly, life still sucks, 'sides the ponning of lessons and lects and test and missing deadlines and whatnot, life. still. sucks. guess im really one screwed up kid nutcase.

i guess the other blog's going to so get activated soon, im unable to express myself clearly here. yeah, and it so maybe a stupid java tag there, with a billion and one people trying to break into it to read the secrets that it contains AND thinking that it maybe some post that defames you, but hey, it doesnt concern you if it doesnt, the only person it defames is me, and the only person that it revolves about is me, and the only persons that read it, is not you. so dont bother. (:

the return for a reason

it was refreshing to return to cjc, guess it was the friends that i had from there, the friend that i met, the sji guys, the good buddies, the good friends, the good fellowship. it was funny was twin kept asking me why and where i kept disappearing to, i had to entertain friends as if i was the host of the school, though they were students there, it was a reunion of friends, both from ceejay and ass-jay-aye, hahaha.. the sji one sounds good.. assjayaye. anyway, thirthith anniversary of cjc and the always-going-to-open opening ceremony of the Performing arts center of cjc brought many people back, that included me and bing. hahaha... but i was rather disappointed by bro paul as he gave his opening speech. and the performances was ok lahhhhhhhhhh.... what do you get for $2 worth? so i didnt expect much either. i prefered the company, and who jsut wouldnt, it always made me feel rejuvinated and young once again. =) hey people, im complimenting you for once ok? hahaha... =)

once a spark(plug) now a (car)~~flame~~

the cjc spirit just made a lot of josephians present hold their laughters. we compared it with what we had for whatever event you can name, at the end, school rally, everyone at the top of their voices shouting with pride followed by our ever so renowned hail hail, we shout it with pride and joy. when we were in the cj PAC, it was such a dull sight, people turning and laughing and giggling and saying hi to each other in between the sch anthem or what-you-call-it. and we walked out askin each other if at the end did we want to shout hail hail and J-O-S-E-P-H-S. so traditional an end off, but it was just so at the wrong time and place, next door at the wrong anniversary. hahha... i guess it does make a huge difference doesnt it, but the so aclaimed flame was still actually a spark in spirit.

tzewei did a great performance with his fire and you can smell him reeking of kerosene at the end of his show. he had one more item, but the audience wanted him to do an encore of the first act, the one with rope and so he gave the juggling a miss, would have been a real sight. hahaha...

anyway i'd better be off to my projects, its actually 130am monday morning already, have to do the projs now!! hahaha... nites.

its ok with me, im not the least bothered

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 12:39 AM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.