Tuesday, February 28, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMMMMM/TOKKIEi've got a social allergy
mummmmmm: "why cant you have normal friends? like unlike poles attract right?"
and "there is a HUGE difference between sci and arts students"
we dont generalise the arts students. but we generalise the sci ones. sorry.
anti social behaviours.
there are a few acts of indecency in singapore. and by seeing that, i tend to be quite repulsive and have a urgency to puke. hence, its like an allergy to me, wherein i get sick when i see it, and since its a social issue, i term them my 'social allergies'.
a very nice term for it i guess. but its purely disgusting.
escalators are for people to get up and down with. but singaporeans have a bad habit, they get too physically attached on the escalators with their partners that they forget the very place they are in. a shopping mall/mrt station, with a million and one other eyes seeing them touch away. this act of PDA (Public Display of Affection) is purely gross and should be kept within the walls of their homes. if and unless they are not ashamed (like tammy) to show the whole world them having sex on the escalator. (whereas tammy saying that its ok, since "everyone else is doing it" there is nothing to be ashamed of, and should just let the world admire her pornographic video that was accidentally leaked into the cyberworld. qn: was it really accidental? that aside) now imagine you touching your girlfriend on the escalator and then her mum/dad is actually on the other side of the escalator, is s/he going to tell you, oh dont mind me, carry on, that was what i used to do with her mum/dad. but anyhows, with or without the parents around. hello, please go get yourselves a room.
im not being jealous here that i don't have anyone to be touching and caressing when i get up an escalator. and if you ever do catch me doing that one day, make sure im being thrown off that very escalator that im found doing that on. i just find it plainly, simply eww.. but you may say that they are in the world of their own, and love romance puts you there. now, thats an anti social behaviour.
'PlEaSe 4gIvEiN mE hoRz'
i must saying ah, that hor, got a lot of the paytun leh. you know paytun? rite tat way ah, dunch noe until wen ten fins ah. i high crass nt? use fins leh.
(i must say that i've got a lot of patience, you know patience? writing in such a fashion for me, would take forever to fins (french for finish). see i'm using such a bombastic word, fins, aint i high class?)
forgive me for the very irritating and bothersome change in font. its really distracting and gives me somewhat some creeps. another allegry i have is towards ahbeng and ahlians. well, i guess they come in a package (i dont know why the preference towards that political term), which includes fashion, make up, and most of all, language. when all are put together, you get a total disaster. i'm not saying that the creation itself, but im talkin about the choice that this creation made. and i have a very violent reaction internally towards them. i get an attack of goosebumb, followed by a nauseating rush, and a cold chill up my spine, sounds like some paranoic experience there isn't it? i guess thats the best way to describe it. but i do not deny that there are some nice 'ah beng ah lian pai' people. they are not in the gangs and they are just nice people who are friendly and wild and playful. and sometimes, they just are too playful, but anyhows, *shivers*.
human psychic is weird
we are many a times attracted (VISUALLY) by the very things that disgust us. i'm citing from an example that happened quite long ago and also myself. i remember very clearly that time at sentosa with the teeseven people, in the waters we were just playing around and then suddenly someone spotted a group of indians (most likely indian nationals) in their undergarments (lets suppose they werent bathing) and playing(mostly men) in the waters too. (and if you could remember) someone actually commented it was gross and then she pointed it out to everyone, and then she started staring at them, rather, gave many glances at them, and was saying it was really gross. its quite weird isnt it? why was she still lookin at them and still saying gross and still looking at them? she herself didnt know why either. haha..
i myself face a problem of that sort, i kinda take more than 10 looks at a chao ahlian, and i dont know why. and i hate the sight of it, and its like OMGOSH! but then, i can't put myself to take another glance at someone thats of average looks. lest i might be noticed for staring. mmmm... (im avoiding the pneumatic word). i dont know. i'd like to study that someday. hahaha..
the perfect girl
someone who wants me more than needs me, who is reliant, yet self-reliant, someone who is mature, yet childlike, someone who can hold a conversation about anything from serious to crappy. someone who has brains, yet at times doesnt use them, someone who has a heart, feels and is sensitive. someone who loves God, and Loves his people. someone that takes value of relationships(kinship/friendship), and that can understand that my life doesnt revolve around her. someone who is as insane as me, to look after me when im bedridden, someone who is willing to give up everything in comfort in exchange for discomfort, to a calling higher than cash. someone who isnt perfect, yet in love, is perfect. and no, i'm not askin to marry God. and i dont seek for that person. i am not on the shelf to be picked, nor am i doing the shopping. but at the rate i'm lookin at it, do you think i'd find one like that, i'm afraid that my ans would be a negative one.
mr perfectionist got the better of me for a while
someone ever asked me if i would settle for 2nd best,i gave it a thought, and wondered if i best was within my reach, if it was, why would i settle for 2nd best, but if it wasnt, then it wasnt part of the choice, and that wasnt the best already, now giving then '2nd best' as best. and 2nd best doesnt mean it is substandard.
"substandard is something that isnt to be contemplated about."
i gave a thought about this statement i made just for the previous statement, and then i realised that it was wrong. it is the bad things in life that brings out the beauty of the good things, it is the not so good things that gives value to the good things that we experience. hence without the bad, substandard, not-so-good, good and better has no value, everything is relative. rather, emotions and feelings are relative, there isnt elation without happiness, and there isnt happiness without sadness, there isnt surprises without monotony. the bad things brings out who we are, humans, sinful and imperfect. there isnt a way that we can escape from this fact. ok i shant start preaching now.
why should i fight for something thats not meant to be mine?
with that, i may sound like a follower, a person who succumbs to 'fate', or so they say "we fight for your own destinies, our own tomorrows" but who are we to fight for a tomorrow that doesnt even belong to us alone? who are we to claim time that we are unable to tame? could we order the sun to stop its setting, or stop the moon from doing its cycle?
they said that if i continued talkin this way, they might have to send me to an institute. for the confusing. problem is, i graduated from an institution, to be confusing.
and sometimes, life can be such a juxtaposition.
"i think that sex is overrated"
"men learn to love the person that they are attracted to more and more, and women are more and more attracted to the person that they love" - sex, lies and videotapes.
we could learn to love and know what love is more without the physical expression of it. responsible sex is the result of love. irresponsible sex is the result of PURE lust.
i was talkin to a theoratical feminist.
ok not to offend anyone of the opposite gender, but i think that feministic movements and women rights are somewhat overboard. yes i do agree that women should have their rights and their stand as women, not to be pushed around and bullied. not to be abused even, i detest men who abuse women, i hate men who hit women, who clothe themselves in violence to women. but at the same time, women want equal standing in the world, i have no problems with having world leaders as women, look at margret tatcher, she was a women with an iron fist. and sometimes these women do a better job too. there was a period in history where one of the leading kingdoms women ruled and men we the househusbands. (i actually dont even mind my wife (in future) earning more than me, there isnt much of a problem with that), but as technology progressed, and in recent years, the women's rights have become strong and more demanding. and i thought to myself. if we males were to want it our way sometimes, they call us chavunists, and if they were to want it their way, its their right. is that being demanding? if in the social world, the demand for equal standing, i think its fair, but they arent willing to give anything in return for their taking. so if they want everything to be equal then we say why not in sports too? and they say they are the weaker gender physically and that it isnt fair for them to compete against the guys. it is cos they are WEAKER thats why they have the rights to do so. and i think again. now we are being stampled over the RIGHTS, so very soon shouldn't the men come up with rights to protect us against our wives at home? just food for though, nothing really offensive intended.
it was a pain that transcended all understanding, that travelled through space that pierced through my heart, and urgency, a panic that didnt belong to be, i fear that tore me, a confusion, i was scared. hurting albeit the pain wasnt supposed to be yours. it drove me near insanity, knowing that i was so helpless, that i couldnt do anything but just wait for news. and i prayed and i dont know how, i dont know why, tears just filled my eyes and i prayed real hard. no it wasnt a dream it was real.
i'm waiting for rain, oh Lord, please let it rain on wednesday, when im at home catching up with my sleep that i've forsaken for the past 36 hours then. pretty please?
please note that in friendster, my birthday falls on a nonexistant date in 1987. ((: maybe i was never existant :|
if there was only one thing about birthdays that i like, it would be that it was so torturous. trying to organise a gathering of friends for your own birthday, trying to keep happy the whole day cause people demand you to, eventhough in the tiredness, trying to please everyone except pleasing yourself, and then finally worrying about what to buy for the person on his/her birthday in return. well birthdays are all that fun. well maybe i really am getting old to the extend of not wanting to celebrate birthdays anymore. like what PC (my mentor/shifu.....) told me, at that age, no reason to celebrate already lo...
this post wasnt typed on the 28th, it was done on two seperate days, but posted on 28th, explains everything properly? ((: just that i havent really had the time to blog with exams and all. im really tight and its like 2nd march at 6 am that im finishing up this post to actually publish, quite irritated larh.
i riped it from my friendster about me part i find it a classic but dont know what you'd think about it.
""Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." - Macbeth, shakespeare.
the only certain thing on this earth is change, and inevitably, i m too, subjected to that theory. no matter how hard one cant handle change, one has to accept the fact that changes happen. and hence at the read of this, it might just already be irrelevant as to who i am.
i might have two eyes today and an eye by tomorrow and i have to accept that fact. i might be here today and gone the day after, without my eyes nor nose nor mouth, what an i to say, shout foul?
i might be all loving a second and an ass the next, you never know when i'll turn against you, and likewise, you against me. i can make you love me, hate me likewise.
my tool's uncontrolled, a double edged sword, ready to strike upon provokation; ready to please upon demand. its lavish words are obscured and hidden, yet silently killing. you never know...
life is about choices, choices from Love.
we were made to love, therefore, i love those i love, and i love those i detest. for love is the choice and choice is a love."
i'm glad that no one really reads anything too wordy, they get irritated and then walk glance and then leaves at least read the title and the ending part its quite a summary.
tell me i love you
i love me evil
MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 11:50 PM
i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.
