All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Saturday, December 02, 2006

contra-b.a.n.d

your smell is stuck in my nose.

i like being dumb

its been one kind of a week. those kind that you tell yourself. you dont really want to live with it again, yet at the same time, you dont mind actually. maybe as i always say, two extreme feelings then causes it to level out anyways. or so it seems. well, but its the kind of week that starts off on a bad note, and then also ends with a bad note. and thank God i'd consider my week a monday to friday thing; sat and sundays are a seperate week (or maybe). and all the in betweens are rather scrambled up, like fried eggs with shells in them, yet adding the fried chicken and all. why am i talking about food at this time of the morning? beats me. maybe its the distant call from a cafe called My Heart.

and yet i detest being dumb

the week passed as if a month had passed, maybe its due to the crossing over to dec, and then from dec to jan. maybe the last week would then feel as if a year has passed. you never know how our body gets attacked by the y2kkk virus anymore. and then we're all screwed up inside to be wired sooo wrongly. dates, days, months, and all the messy things that mircosoft vista would bring about, patching this and patching that. i ever wonder, why didnt God create patches too? then we'd just install, update and ehhs, we're a newer version. or maybe patch the hurts, wounds, lies, deciet, sins. wheeee.. and everything would be well again. and so i'd say, its time to sleep, you're already dreaming.

i'd rather know within, at least i can play pretend and act as if i dont know anything.

one really bad thing: i've not had dinner with my family for a weeek, that means no home cooked food, and no SOUP! like WHAT THE! and i'm so not surviving without it. bare necessities they say, bare. sound like nude necessities, maybe its due to the really not very enticing advert now on teevee. the little teevee that i get to catch everyday just to tell myself. i'm connected to this world.

and yet i'd rather having known from you.

could i just switch my phone off for once? like totally? and be disconnected to this world. technology, convenience, or maybe not. it makes us more busy, it makes us more tied down, it makes us all, watched. dont you know?

dont lie to me, i'm a lai in itself, it takes a lie to know another.

"how now brown cow?" - chels, haha..

hello

the songs are playing,
the bells ringing.
captivated by silence,
sure find peace within?

another thought trail,
nourishing the emotions,
damaging the spirit,
altogether empty.

jokes aside they say
mocking openly they may
surely know, you dont
confidently proclaiming
emphasizing effortlessly

words at length
letters and phonics
pronunciations so strong
lies are but like wind.

reaching out to you
you see not the hand
stretched out like phews
after a sunday service

goodbye, it replies itself
goodbye, a life of its own
goodbye, a gentle whisper
goodbye, and its life ends.

you dont know i know
i seem i dont know
you dont know i dont
i dont know you do

maybe seemingly knowing
for pretense begets pretense,
and its a pretense of who
revealing or concealing
truth from deceit.

hello, it shouts itself
hello, to the silence
hello, to this new you
goodbye, i dont know you.

seemingly saying
speaking the mind
consulting the soul
empolyment of but words

saying, speaking, telling, talking
differs from letter to letter
the sensation to meaning,
the illusion to not.

forgive me, i babble
of gibberish i talk
of tales i do tell
of senselessness i speak.
of love i do not say.

letting it go
caring and loving
praying and hoping
begging and pleaing
ouch

-unknown

really, why does it matter to You?

contradictory babbling and nonsensical delusions

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 2:43 AM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.