All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Thursday, July 26, 2007

send me a mundane gift

the seasons of cold and hot. the so singapore weather.

its been so cooling the last few days, the rain and the more rain, and the almost sunless, cloud-filled skies. cold as some may claim (and with the sea breeze to add to it), it was quite refreshing to me, remembering that last saturday i was so hoping and praying for rain, after smelling the scent of rain upon a starry night. yeah i know its quite a juxtaposition, but then since then it hasnt really stopped raining, or on some days drizzles and not much rain. this cooling weather has more or less made days more tolerable, things more acceptable and everything very much more lovable. cool, or cold, well isnt such a bad thing right?

but too much of anything good turns bad eventually.

sounds like something that i would say like three or four years back. this is the very reason why my blog has started to turn stagnant, i've given myself time to think about things, but nothing new would come out. maybe i should really start reading philosophical books to get some inspiration and hope i would not be actually copying ideas, and coming up with something new. but then maybe something, a new term, would then be backed up by the same philosophy. take for example, i first started off with knowledge is evil, and then i ended up with knowledge is sadistic. maybe soon it'd be knowledge is crafty. or something to that effect.

it really does affect me, like am i living in the shadow of my past?

have i been exploring and reachin new limits of myself? have i been coming up with new ideas, am i being creative, or have i become so old and structured that i shouldnt be touching or even mentioning the word creativity?

but seiously, by human standards, i've more or less reached my oldness and limit? or maybe in many other areas i've not explored, rather i've not achieved much either. i'm not flourished with certs and awards and medals and trophies. i cant play an instrument, i will whack, or make a noise with it, i might be able to soundmix, but it actually isnt that good, by my standards. there actually is nothing i can boast of is there?

even in my life, i've had fail relationships, failed friendships, failed my missions and did not actually meet my aim or target. i'm not the smartest, i'm not the humblest, i'm not alot of things.

and then may i ever be less proud to say all these? therefore anything i may achieve would not be of me to boast about, nothing that i have learnt was due to me wanting to pick it up, but by a divine appointment, and whatever that happens in my life, everything is beyond my control. in doing stuff, people may be amazed at some of the stuff i can churn out, but i dare say, it was totally not my work.

oh lets go back to the cold hot thing.

cold, especially in this hot weathered singapore, seems to be the most amiable thing to our ears, the aircon - cold, the iced water - cold (water), the list would go on. but what about a hot cold situation? i doubt cold hot is ever what we want. somethings are better hot than cold.

cold, to the fortunate singaporeans, never know what depressingly cold ever meant.

and many singaporeans might not even know what cold means. well, to many who've gone to seasonal countries, we would know what snow is in winter, but did we ever stay thru two winters, no... it would just be totally depressing. hahaha..

then there's the arugement of the sahara dessert, being deadly hot.

durians! ok that was totally random.

i think due to the hot word, the heaty nature of durians is being brought to mind, and i've been having cravings for durians for a long while. i've had durians last friday and again today, its horrible kinda cravings, totally unhealthy!

ok forget about durians, thought i savor the ones i had last fri and got high on it.

so in the heat of all things, busy, flustered kinda heat, is it good? and when someone is heated, sounds really bad, but when you compare that to a cold shoulder. the cold hot situation, not hot starts to sound and come to a better light.

and after typing that last paragraph, i actually asked myself, what am i saying ar? LOL..

since there is a lack of topic to talk about now (and in my drunken stupor of durian aftermath) lets just go back to talking about durians, oh glorious durians!

(so at the rate i'm going... its evident that i need something to ponder and think about soon, and if anyone did watch futurama, i'm starting to 'talk' or maybe think, like one of the characters. and this is dumb! ok that cartoon sure has taken its toll on me. and i'm so going dumb.. wheeeeee...)

for when you are my everyday, its mundane gift that excites me

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 9:07 PM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.