All i Ever Want To Do iS Worship . . .

Friday, September 28, 2007

wake me up when september ends

this was the song that we started to sing in our bunk after like the third night? then a few days later, only did we realise, oh.. thats a monday.. we'd still BE in camp... sheeeto..

its been a interesting two weeks, very much actually. God has been good.. truthfully.

its the inside being.

its not in the form of resignation, but more so, an attitude to learn and partake in what is going to be beneficial for me (or maybe not), but since i've more or less got no choice, i'll just make the best out of it, enjoy what i have, make as many friends (and then regret again later) and dont get punished too much so that i wont drag others down with me. yays!

and so i'd dare say, it has been fun.

yesh, i know its kinda weird having hear someone say that. but anyways, i'm weird, and therefore my perceptions, thoughts and ideas differ alot, in comparison to what the usual, the norm, of how things are to be thought of as. but i'd say that i did struggle through the first few days, the people, the culture, the regimentation, and the total, and i do repeat TOTAL, lost of freedom. the inevitablity of a robot-like feeling. however, very much to an extend, the difference comes from the people that you are with. the people whom you bunk with, the people whom you would actually see 19 hours a day, these are the very people who will make this experience a different one.

and i really do thank God for placing them where they are, here in the same bunk..

God has really been good, i'm staring into the date of which i started this post, a few days before september ends, and then i'm scratching my head and asking, where did all those time in between go?

its the 9th of november, another month and three days to POP.

and still i would dare say, thank God for the people in my section. i must say, its hasnt been all sweet and honey moony, especially when these are all guys. wanting their ways and well, different backgrounds and upbringings, and whatnots oh wells, i might grouse sometimes, but at least, i'd still really thank God for them.

so much emotions, yet not a word.

coffee's been much of what i've been thinking about this book out. i'd just love to pop into tcc and maybe read a book or just watch the world go by. oh.. tcc.. its been so invading my mind so much. but wells, thats for now. it'll go soon, please?

the indulgence, the me, myself and i.
all alone, with Him.

Job 25:2 "Dominion and awe belong to God;
he establishes order in the heights of heaven."

sometimes you just feel like crying it out, for in there, there isnt something called emotions, there isnt space to emote your hearts out.

to die is to live
to live is to die,
to live in dying,
die in living,
the appreciation of the tension of opposites.
i'll just have to laugh at it.
for its in the process,
enjoy it.

i'm tired, i'm weak,
frustrated, ah! meek,
tedenious, another week,
i'm sucked, all stuck,
clogged, maybe scrambled.
oh eggs and milk.

ok i so dont feel like typing or blogging anymore. and i'm quite familiar with this FEELING, the kind that just wants to not do anything when you actually still can, but you just dont want to and if you push it a little more, you're able to overcome it. but guess what, i'll just succumb to it and HEY i'm off to bed, its 2 am in the morning.

to me its an achievement, i've blogged.

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

MarkSae, Da-jie Bid Goodbye at 9:43 PM

i.S. t.h.i.S. t.h.e. e.n.d. o.R. t.h.e. S.t.a.R.t.